Poof! And she's gone!

 Missing my mom again. It's been a year since she's gone. The pain is not getting any better, the hole in my heart is not closing. I'm not much of a person to share personal details - but here I am. Such a deep rooted sense of loss. But let me start form the beginning. The very beginning.  

As moms go, mine truly was the best mother ever. So selfless, so full of life. My very first memory of her is in a brown suit that she got made for herself. She already had 3 kids, had suffered all kinds of abuse in silence and yet, never lost her ability to trust. My mother was boarding a public transport bus with her three very young kids in tow. I don't remember where we were going or for what. I just remember being there at that time with her. Since I we were with my mom, we were either going to help someone in need or on our way to check in on some friends and family. We could also have been on our way to the cinema. Or perhaps she was taking us along with her for some shopping for the house. You see my mom was full of such energy, so much positive energy that she always saw the good in every situation. No matter what life brought her way, she would find a way to work through it and come out intact at the other end. No matter who hurt her or misused her trust, she would find her way back to giving them some more of herself. Its not that she was a simpleton or a fool. It was also not that she was emotionless and could feel no pain. No, she was an ordinary human being. She felt pain of betrayal just as you and I do. She would be hurt, she would cry. But in the end she would pick herself up, toss her head and proceed to do what she felt she had to do to make it right Even when she was fully aware that she was being taken for granted, even when she knew that her love and compassion was not reciprocated and will never be reciprocated. Such was my mom. Never once did I see her put herself before others. Always giving, always welcoming, always such an oasis of love and peace.